It recently hit me how unfair the law is when it comes to divorce. Especially in California. California is a “no fault” state meaning who cares your wife cheated on you, she’s still taking half of everything. 50% of your house, the cars, your assets and yes she may even try to get half of your 401(k).

It’s not a moral judgement at that point, rather it’s an animalistic means of survival for her. Or is it?

Of course I am using “she” and “her,” and should probably flip it to “he” and him,” because I typically make more money than my male suitors.

Throughout that time of course I’ve considered the long term implications of marriage, what does that mean for my (our) financial future, and what if we were to get divorced?

Overwhelmed by these thoughts, we eventually break up and I’ve dodged yet another bullet.

I still think the law is unfair, and should be relevant to the times we live in.

Let’s take for example, an employee. You have an employee who has been courting a competitor behind the scenes. She finally strikes a deal, accepts the offer and comes to you to put in her resignation notice. Perhaps this employee was not a culture fit, maybe you wrote her up a couple times or worse yet, she was a disgruntled employee. What if, in her termination, you were obligated to pay her wages for the next ten years until she found other employment?

#1. Wouldn’t you be pissed?

#2. Every company would go out of business.

My feeling is the divorced individual should be incentivized to get a job should she wish to support the lifestyle she was accustomed to. Or, downgrade the lifestyle to match the decision made, which was to get divorced.

Perhaps if the ex spouse didn’t get such a sweet pay out, maybe more marriages would last.

You may think I’m being insensitive, but I don’t think I am. I don’t think it’s right someone is punished financially for a failed relationship where the other person did not contribute equally.

Now before every Orange County housewife de-friends me on Facebook, hear me out.

Let’s say one person in the marriage stays at home to run the household. That’s fabulous and a commendable job (my ultimate dream job is to be the First Lady, so I get it). Should the marriage end, I think it’s fair the other is entitled to the money she would have otherwise earned had she had a job, as well as half of any interest earned on joint investments while married.

I’m not feeling the ten year and lifetime pay outs either.

We are not Scarlet O’Haras anymore. I don’t need to bat my eyes to a man to ensure my financial security for life. We are able bodied individuals who may seek gainful employment.

I am just cautious, that’s all. I’ve seen so many couples where one ex is laughing all the way to the bank. And the other is adversely effected and stressed.

Not only does it destroy someone financially, it makes it difficult to put the past behind you.

I discovered this from a break-up that never made it to the invites, let alone altar. Yet I am still receiving drawn out text messages about “valuables” that have no value to me: cubic zirconia engagement ring, a few watches and sunglasses, and a necklace his mom saved in her safe deposit box for his wedding day (turns out it’s costume jewelry).

It’s not like I’m holding onto these items as collateral; I am honoring his request to hold onto them since he lives overseas. Of course I am fine with it, but after 6 months I am done being a storage unit and just want to move on.

All in all I thank the good Lord upstairs for this outcome as I know our relationship would have ended in Divorce… and I am not okay with writing checks to an ex at this stage in my life.


Published by Katie Jones


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