Is Texting the Death of Romance?

Remember the days where a “text message” was an SMS? Yeah, me neither.

I blocked those times from my memory. It was a “Short Message Service,” which was intended to send a brief message through your telephone. It basically replaced voicemail with a text format.  Anything exceeding 160 characters, and guess what…? You get charged for those!

The worst feeling was going over your text allowance for the month. I would exceed it because my friends would send me pointless texts. And guess what? You got charged for those additional incoming texts too.

I’m sorry, but I did not authorize these texts to come in. How can I “undo” so I avoid my mom yelling at me on next month’s billing cycle?

It was purely intended for informational purposes.

I personally do not find anything romantic about “On my way,” “Call me,” or “What time is your game tonight?”

When I got my first cell phone I was in high school. My mom only allowed it because she was a single mom and it was intended for “logistics and emergencies only” (i.e. it made her life easier).

It took me getting stranded at the soccer field one evening with no means to call my mom for a ride. I walked home several miles in tears, because I got left at school and soccer practice. I should have just called an Uber. Damnit!

Times were tough back then though. The first cell phones were becoming mainstream, and we just weren’t sure about those mysterious SMS things.

But even back then, I can tell you what wasn’t tough. Dating.

Dating without texting was so fun!

prom

We still did things face-to-face (I think they would call those ‘dates’ nowadays). And we would talk on the phone for hours, “Promise me when we’re 30, and if we’re still unmarried, then we will marry each other!” “Of course,” I replied as though I were saying my vows to my husband.

I wish 31 year old me could have walked into the room in that moment.

“Woah, woah, woah, Katie. First of all. I’m going to need you to remove the word ‘still,’ as if either of you are implying that still being unmarried by 30 is a bad thing… Then I’m going to need you to replace ‘30’ with ‘40,’ because marriage before 30 is unrealistic. Oh, and be sure to say NO to that boy. In fact, just hand me the phone.”

“Hi, Tyler? Hey, yeah it’s Katie! Yeah, I know, it’s been literally 11 years since we’ve spoken? I know, right?? Yeah, well I’m here with my 13-year old self. Yeah, and I just wanted to tell you……. EF OFF. You are an entitled jock who thinks he’s better than everyone else. You are insecure, and Katie is SO deserving of a man who is kind, wonderful and not as self-absorbed as you, @$$hole! Oh, and I should probably mention, she finally gets hotter later in life. So just remember that when you break-up with her. You might regret that at the 10-year or 20-year, just sayin’…”

Luckily our text messages have advanced from SMS to something more by the time I graduated high school, college and entered the workforce.

At that time, it was more common to receive a text that just said, “Sup?” as if to start a conversation.

By the way, if a guy texted me this today, I would literally think he was asking me to go stand up paddle boarding with him.

“Omg, I would love to! What time?”

“Huh?”

Oh I mean… “nm, how was your day {insert emoticon kissy face here}.” (Quietly die by myself in my living room).

Not only do things get lost in translation, such as “sup” and why is this guy trying to start a text conversation, I am mostly interested in, “what is the relational meaning behind texting?”

The blurred lines between “we’re talking” and “we’re dating” have gotten that much blurrier. Basically “we’re talking,” means we are literally sending each other text messages. He might be the first person I text when I wake up, and the last person I text before I go to bed so that is like “we’re talking,” right?

Wrong.

wrong

Texting does not equal relationship.

I repeat this to myself over and over, on a regular basis. Not because I’m a little downsy, but because I consistently find myself in this trap of Just Friends With Texts.

Stop texting me!

Now don’t get me wrong, I love to flirt. I love witty messages from a man that can put me in my place. That part is fun. But you know what’s not fun? When a guy never calls you.

Never asks you on a date. And when you call, it is returned with a text message. I am telling you, it’s a great way to make a human feel low. Stop texting me!

Personally I was trained in an environment where we are expected to communicate appropriately every day. If you receive an email, respond with an email. If you receive a voicemail, respond with a phone call. If there is conflict, or a situation is tense, an in-person meeting or getting on the phone immediately following the incident is the best choice.

So why do these rules go out the window in dating?

For the rest of the article, read “Is Texting the Death of Romance (Cont.)”

Published by: Katie Jones

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