It’s very difficult living in Orange County, California. I know I said I’m from Iowa, but c’mon, did you not notice all the beach shots?
It is difficult living in the O.C. with all the beautiful people though. It’s an unspoken indicator of status. The tanner, taller, skinnier, bigger boobs and longer hair you have, is an indicator that you are popular, successful, fun-loving, and an overall good person who embodies integrity and character. I am terrified how pale, short, fat, flat chested balding women feel living in Orange County!
I can’t tell you how many people tell me, “Oh my god, you look so skinny! What are you doing?!” And all I’m thinking is, “Cheez-its.” No really, they are so good. Literally all I do is eat Cheez-Its, you should try it some time.
And everyone hates me. Not because I’m “skinny” and eat Cheez-Its, but because I literally don’t give a @#$%. I don’t care what diet you’re on, I don’t care how amazing and beautiful you are, and I don’t care how damn cute your kids are in all your photos. We get it, you are drop-dead gorgeous and everyone is jealous of your Instagram. Meanwhile, I’m over here just trying to enjoy my Cheez-Its.
So like I was saying, it’s tough keeping up with the Joneses.
And so I cracked. Literally, my forehead. I have about 8 deep cracks and wrinkles in my forehead. So a girlfriend kindly pointed out to me last week, “Katie Jones, I think it’s time for some botox.”
I have actually been dying to have this done for awhile. I have serious lines, and it’s gotten to the point that I wonder if people aren’t paying attention to my lips at all, rather they are talking to my forehead. That thing has a life of its own. She’s constantly up and down, expressive, laughing, talking. It’s so much fun being Katie Jones’ forehead!
But not any more. I put an end to that with multiple syringes, pokes and like $336.00 later. It’s fine, I made sure to track this in my budget under “Health & Fitness.” Because, really, paying for a gym membership OR getting botox in your forehead? I’ll go with botox every time, baby!
More to come in 7 days when this stuff actually kicks in….
Published by Katie Jones